The Other Side

On the eve of the beginning of my hospital ride, I sit before my computer screen having no idea what to say. How do I possibly process something like surgery? All I know is that if I have made it this far, I can always go a little further. The scariest thing about surgery is the uncertainty. I've become well acquainted with uncertainty over the years, perhaps too much so, but there's something qualitatively different about the uncertainty of the manipulation of my body that just scares the living hell out of me. The journey into the darkness of the anesthesia is one that requires a surrender, a disengagement. I have often wondered what goes on in the mind while one is under the influence of anesthesia in surgery. I don't think the mind can ever be completely disconnected from the body. What goes through your unconscious mind while your body is being cut open and manipulated from within? Does the procedure scar your unconscious mind as much as your body? Do dreams happen? What role does the body's memory play here? Well, just some thoughts. I realize it's likely abnormal to think these sorts of questions but if I actually posted normal thoughts, you'd all think I was crazy, right? Unravel that one...

I would love it if you folks would stop in here and have a couple drinks while I'm gone for a bit. goose will be your surrogate bartender while I am out. She'll take good care of you. But please do leave a comment or two. I'll enjoy having some reading material when I get the chance to check in.

The surgery will begin at 7:30 A.M. on Wednesday morning. As for hospital contact info, the best way to contact me is either to call me on my cell or to call the Vanderbilt University Hospital. If you want to stop by and see me, you will need to go to the front desk and ask them where I am located (make sure you use my first name, not the one that starts with a B...and certainly not thewalrus...although that would make for some interesting reactions). It is likely I will be moved around a bit so the chances of giving you a set location are pretty slim. If I do get one, I will have goose post it here. I look forward to seeing and/or hearing from you.

Since most of us are Lost fanatics around here, I'll leave you with a simple but fitting quote from the first season. The scene is the flashback from Locke's past where he is sitting across from his dad in the hospital room, waiting to have his kidney removed. Before they have the surgery, Locke's dad turns to him and makes a final statement. I'll leave you with his words:

"I'll see you on the other side."