Parrhesia: The Last Call

Well, guys, here we go. The long-awaited explanation as to why the hell I got an ancient greek word permanently inked on the right side of my back. For those who need visuals, well, I haven't mastered the art of transferring greek fonts to my web page so I'll have to rely on hobbes or somebody to guide me on that. In terms of location on my back, it is written vertically (about 10 inches long) down the right side of my back midway between my spinal cord and the edge of my body. The word as transliterated into English is called "parrhesia." For a brief explanation, go here. For my personal appropriation, keep reading.

Parrhesia is a word with a deep history that goes back (at least) to Socrates. According to Alexander Nehamas, Socrates was the first to extend "the concept and the practice of parrhesia to the communication between individuals...through which one individual confronts another with an important but not often welcome truth." According to Socrates, if one is to practice parrhesia he/she must "risk danger, taking nothing into account, neither death nor anything else, aside from what is shameful." Nehamas says that according to Foucault, parrhesia is "the courage of truth...the courage of speaking truly"; Foucault "describes Socrates as a soldier who always remains at his post, defending himself and his fellow citizens." I know I am omitting references here so if you need them, let me know.

When I read about this word, I immediately knew it applied in a fundamental way to me and the way I approach things. For me, it even takes on the extra dimension of vulnerability. One of my gifts/curses is my vulnerability. I am willing to lay things out for people (whether it's what I believe or who I am) pretty damn quick. For some, they connect; for others, it scares the hell out of them. I got this tattoo to remind myself every day that I have an obligation to keep my door open for the sake of the cause. The word has so many dimensions when applied to myself (for those who ever had the opportunity (or burden) to read my master's thesis, there is a hell of a lot of irony (but not contradiction) in me choosing this particular word, so...yeah, enjoy the irony). The word is also playing a huge role in the novel I'm writing. So, for the few who read the Factor posts, start making that connection. Well, let us proceed in the practice of parrhesia...

You see, when you choose to take this route, you are choosing to take a path of no return, a path that is occupied by few, a path that will take you to an unknown but certain destination. When I went to the tattoo shop and marked my back, I knew that in some sense I would always be alone in the cause, simply because it is a fundamentally personal quest. And yet, I went with someone who ended up getting a tattoo, a much smaller, transliterated version of the same word tattooed on their hip. Therefore, I'm alone, but connected. I'm not the lone cowboy riding off into the sunset because I've got others in support and perhaps even riding in the same direction. But I have to be willing to keep going if they decide to go elsewhere. It's a quest. A quest(ion) from which I can never return. The catch is that contained within the quest is an inherent evangelistic call. Practicing the principle challenges others to follow. When confronted with it, it's an either/or choice to make. Either you accept the challenge or you tuck-tail and run.

At times, I feel like I am a cursed being. I have a whole hell of a lot going for me (and really have for a long time) but I can't see it because the things I desire the most are the very things that I just might have to sacrifice in the long run for the things I believe. More than likely I'm in the process of coming full circle with some beliefs, I don't know. I tell a lot of people these things and they're like "that sounds like Jesus" and I'm like, "yeah, I guess it does" not because I don't care but because I don't see that first. I'm disconnected from the Church and so the religious element, or at least the religious connection, doesn't strike me first. The practice of parrhesia is just one of those things that I believe in, that I am called to do. I'm not even sure all the reasons why but denying it is like denying my own existence. It just is what it is. Now, that's the personal element. What I often ask is whether those (like yourself who read this blog) are willing to step up to the challenge and take this quest with me. Here's why.

There's a huge degree to where this is just about me and I'm sure psychologists would have a heyday in analyzing it. But there's also a huge degree to where I think it's simply a matter of people deciding whether they're brave enough to step up to the plate and take the risk of letting go of everything to become what they've never perhaps imagined: their greatest potential. That's what I'm really good at - seeing people's potential (not so much my own) and so I'm going to use that gift for what it's worth. So, heed my warning, folks. I have told my friend E this many times. If you are going to be my friend, then prepare for the ride because I won't let up. I'm not a chess player at the game of chess but at the game of life I will match every move you make probably even before you make it. You will get pissed at me, and likely even resent me, but I will never stop pushing you to be who you want to be. Not who I want you to be. But who you tell me you want to be. And that's just the way it is. Prepare to hate me at any given time guys because I tell you, I won't let up in challenging you. And believe me, I will expect nothing less from you. I may kick the shit out of you only to get my ass kicked in return but then I'll buy you a beer and we'll just get ready for round two. E told me the other day that he fully expects him and I to be 60 years old sitting in our rocking chairs arguing until we drop dead. That's friendship, guys. That's life. That's the challenge you must face as long as you know thewalrus. If you're prepared, then tell me. If not, then stop reading and go back to the good ole American way of 'ignorance is bliss.' I won't blame you. I'll probably even envy you. But I assure you, I won't follow you.

Why? Because (for you King fans) I've got my ka. All I'm looking for is to make this a ka-tet. If you want to know what the hell that means, read the Dark Tower series. It will serve you well. Either way, do your thing and "get busy living or get busy dying." Just fucking get busy doing something...