A Vicarious Prelude
So I haven't asked permission to do this yet but, until I hear otherwise, I will move forward. My pre-Lost-pre-season-finale-post will be manifested in a link to a blog by our fellow patron emmanuel. Emmanuel, if you object, remove your blog before I wake up tomorrow, which will be late. Otherwise, belly up to the bar and emmanuel will be presumably happy to serve...
Click here
posted by thewalrus at 4:39 AM
3 Comments:
Emmanuel, I for one commend you. I genuinely appreciate you bravely posting these sentiments. My wife and I have had these same sentiments for years, and we always resolve to abstain from the whole gift-exchange crap-festival--every year! But every year, we get pulled back in again. It gets close to the actual holiday, and we realize everyone else will be buying US gifts, and at least partially from a sincerity of heart, that wants to give us some skewed and inferior form of affection. So once again, we end up feeling guilty at the last minute, and more money than we have on our relatives, which is actually still much less than was kind of expected, and less than they spent on us--which then makes us feel even guiltier. And any which way, we're still all spending money on each other, for the things we've said we want, or that they think we want, when if we all just went out and picked what we wanted, we'd be happier with it being exactly what we wanted anyway--and all without having to settle with something that is other than exactly what we wanted, without having to act like we like what we got, without having to feel guilty for having spent money to celebrate the life of Someone WHO SAID WE CANNOT SERVE GOD AND MAMMON (hello?!), and without simultaneously feeling guilty for not spending ENOUGH money!
Ridiculous. !
So, my question is, how do we get out of it? I'd feel ridiculous to show up at my age without gifts from others, I'd feel like a jerk refusing gifts from others, and like more of a jerk receiving them without reciprocating. We've tried doing the homemade-gifts thing, the cheap-gifts thing (for too many years in a row). How do we get out of celebrating what used to be, and/or could be a beautiful holiday in such a disgusting way??
I've personally come to love Thanksgiving more than Christmas, because (at least with my family) it's basically the same, only without all the fanfare and repulsive and all-but-meaningless aspects. It's one national (even semi-religious) holiday that still preserves some vestige of purity, and in a decent contingent of families, sincerity. It's becoming the forgotten holiday, which in our culture, for the little window of time we're currently in in our progressive culture in regards to this subject, is probably really good and beautiful and enjoyable for now. It's just the holiday that serves too little consumer purpose to be worthy of notice between Devil-Day and Baby-GOD-Day. So Halloween just grows, and Christmas just grows, because they both increasingly serve the books and goals of evil multi-national conglomerates, and THANKSGIVING FOR WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE AND DON'T HAVE TO GO OUT AND SPEND MONEY ON just fades into a practice run/warm-up for Christmas. Or, as I overheard a young mom sincerely call it to her young-mom girlfriends at the coffeeshop I'm in, "Christmas, Part 1--the less important one". But for right now, I can enjoy that. At least until it's decided culturally to serve no purpose, and to be too-religious-so-as-to-be-offensive to the greedy and ungrateful.
Forgive me if my post is offensive (but isn't this place about open-minded and sincere discussion?). But that's my "two cents".
And my question remains. Any advice on how the heck to get out of the vicious gift-giving rat-race cycle?
11:05 AM, November 08, 2006
I've enjoyed reading everyone's comments. I don't have too much to add, but I say something.
What Dante said about the oxymoron of 'gift exchange' is true. I hate the stress of buying gifts for everyone, and then worrying about whether they will like them, but it's an obligation everyone has to meet if they want to participate in Christmas.
I wonder how Christ's birth originally became intertwined with all the other Christmas tradition (Santa, gifts, etc.). I wish the two traditions were separated so we wouldn't feel so bad about enjoying Santa and his reindeer.
Despite the stress and fear of buying gifts, I still think Christmas is my favorite holiday, because the season just makes me feel good...
...maybe it is a drug.
9:28 AM, November 09, 2006
Here's some thoughts:
I've always essentially disliked Christmas and most holidays actually but that's due largely to family experiences. However, I share your distrust and dislike for the traditions surrounding America's Christmas. I won't pretend to have the answers for you, unlike your jackass friend Randy, but I do have some thoughts.
The only place where I would essentially disagree with you is with your comments on the underprivileged. You seem to have a compassionate nature towards them but you also seem to resent their position. This is also why I think "Sack Up, Jack" from your blog is very wrong as well. I think the assumption that these people just need to get out and work harder and stop eating up our taxes is a profound misunderstanding as to how capitalism functions with respect to the lower class. The fact of the matter is that capitalism requires a lower class to survive. There's also the fact that most of the underprivileged do not have the same psychological wherewhithal to know where to begin; nor do they have any motivation to do so. They get hit from all sides and they don't even know it. Now, I certainly think you're right that giving them toys, etc. may not be the most viable option; it might not even be acceptable. I don't have the answers as to what's best but if this is a conscientious issue that rests on your plate I think there are a variety of other options and resources out there.
My poor bastard ass doesn't have anything to buy anyways so it's not as much of an issue. My parents' idea of a gift is to buy me a plane ticket to come see them over the holidays. How's that for the philosophical gift exchange discussion? Leighbotts, does this ring any bells??
As for the Christianity stuff, well, I don't come from a liturgical background so Christmas has never symbolized the birth of Christ for me (because, after all, Jesus wasn't actually born on that day - but why the fuck does that matter??). It's always been about getting the latest Star Wars figure or revealing just how not-well-off I am compared to the rest of my family. Somehow I've been lucky enough to have not received the materialistic gene. And I don't mean that in a complimentary sense for myself; it's just that for some reason I don't give a shit that my apartment still looks like the room I lived in during college. If it works, it works. I mean, if you want to hire me an interior designer, then by all means do so but don't send me the bill. I need that money for books, booze, deodorant, and cat food (and if I'm lucky, an occasional nice date with my quasi-ladyfriend).
So, there you have it. Either way, I got your back emmanuel. If you'd like assistance in kicking Randy's ass, let me know. I'm only halfway kidding. Cheers.
11:33 PM, November 09, 2006
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